Lots of Changes and Challenges

Well, its only been a few days since the breakup, but Im already to get a little sad. I KNOW I am going to miss such an amazing guy, I mean seriously who wouldnt miss a guy with a heart like Dorin? But its okay, Im expecting to be sad and lonely for a while, and Im okay with that.

I tried (and think I did) do the best thing for both of us by ending the relationship. He can now move on and someday (maybe soon or in the future)meet a girl who not only makes him happy and he loves, but fits into his family the way a girl should. Like I have said before, I want that for him. I wish that girl was me, but its not, and Im learning to be okay with that.

I recently got another job. I will be a bartender at a small bar in a small town, but I think it will be good for me. I know the owners and they are WONDERFUL people, and I also worked it out with Red Robin, so I wont be losing anything there by getting another job.

I'll be working days at the new bar, and nights at Red Robin. I think it will be good for me.

I have been thinking alot lately and I really need to start working on who I want to become. I know that I have come a long way already by getting and remaining clean for almost 8 months now, but there is more too it. I want to save up money, I want to get my own place or a place with a friend, and I REALLY want to get in a good place where I can go back to college and get the degree I have longed for for a long time. I am excited to work on myself. I'm excited to know that I will be doing everything in my power to become the person I want to be when I have a baby. I dont want to become a mother who is just a waitress and still lives at home with her dad.

When I meet a man (which I am not planning on doing for a couple years), I want to be proud of the person I tell him I am. I want to be accomplished, I want to have all my ducks in a row so that when I do meet the man I am going to marry, I dont have to worry about issues I should have already taken care of.

Its ME time. Dorin deserves better than the person I am right now, and who knows maybe my fairy tale will come true...maybe after I get my degree and am settled, we run into each other again.

But only the Lord knows the plans He has for me, and its about time I start listening to Him. I'm not going to waste any more time, its time I grow up and truly start listening to the One who created me.