Addiction....and How Heartbreaking It Is.

You know, before I ever touched a pain killer, I used to have this opinion of drug users/addicts. I thought they were all losers who obviously wanted nothing for their lives and were just trash....I know that sounds harsh but that is the truth of my old views. Now, looking back, with everything that God has brought me to and THROUGH, my prespective have completely changed. I believe addiction is one of the saddest things I have ever come in contact with.

I think we can all agree that NO ONE dreams of being a drug addict when they grow up. In Elementary school children are always asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?". Most kids will say things like, "I want to be a doctor, a nurse, vet, firefighter, lawyer, etc." I dont think one teacher who has ever asked that question to a child has ever gotten the response, "I want to be a drug addict." Its just not something ANYONE wants to be, EVER.

I know that there is a HUGE DEBATE about addiction, some people believe (most of which have never personally dealt with addiction or have done little to no research on it) that addiction is just a mere personality flaw and that the person could stop doing drugs if they wanted to at anytime, but they continue to use because they are stupid. Another set of invididuals believe (these people include doctors, addiction specialists, recovering addicts) that addiction is actual a chronic illness that needs to be treated just as any other chronic illness. Of course, its not exactly like most other chronic illnesses. People do not choose to get cancer, or heart disease, or any other life changing illness, but after addiction takes hold of a persons brain, they no longer have that control over their addiction to cure it.

This is where, in my opinion, medical intervention takes place, and no Im not talking about giving the adddicted person more drugs in order for them to stop complaining and make the addict heal better for the day (if that), but to help them with their illness with medical advice and medical information, which were things in my personal case that dramatically helped me not only understand but to realize that there are medical explanations for the way I was feeling.

One of the things that I really want to say since I did kind of relate addiction to cancer is that IN NO WAY is cancer EVER a choice, and at the beginning of a persons addiction they ARE making a choice to injest, snort, shoot, etc the drug into their body. Yes I realize that the biggest difference between other major chonic illnesses and addiction is that most of those chronic illnessses the victim NEVER has any choice or control over ever obtaining that illness.

Anyway, although the addict does CHOOSE the choice at the beginning to start using drugs (even once), after that is a totally different ball game. Alot of people dont know that using prescription narcotics over a long period of time completely 100% changes the way your brain operates and commmunicates with the rest of your body. SO, long story short about that, your brain operates very differently and abusually with the longer you abuse drugs. So, it no longer becomes a choice for the addict, the addict now has to use in order to feel normal and avoid severe withdrawal and sickness.

Addiction is one of the most horrible things I have ever experienced and seen in my life, by far. It takes control of peoples lives and makes them into people they hate.
I have been the addict, but I have also been a loved one of an addict...and both of them are unbearable. Both people feel out of control completely, the addict feels out of control of his/her life, and the loved one feels helpless, extremely heartbroken, and hopeless. The loved one tries and tries to help the addict, but the truth of the matter is, no matter what ANYONE says to an addict about turning their life around and quitting using their substance of choice, IT HAS TO COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY 100% BE THE WANTING AND DESIRE OF THE ADDICT for the treatment to actually work.

I have people in my life right now who I am heartbroken for. I love these people with all that I am, and it breaks my heart to see them going down the wrong direction, not only because I love them, but because I know they could and would be so much happier and free if they would just let go of their addiction. But, when you are in the midst of your addiction, you cant see any of the good things that will happen once you give it up.

All I can do is give this situation to the Lord because its WAY too big for me. I cannot fix my loved one, I want to-but I cant. It has to come from within.