Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Blah.

So the past couple days I have been in a horrible mood pretty much constantly, and I kind of know why but its like overtaking me.

I just dont understand why life works out the way it does sometimes...I mean, why the hell can't things just work out the way I want them to, then I will be happy and can live my life with a smile on my face. But right now, there is no smile.

I have been thinking alot, and I just dont think life is fair. Some of the most rude and selfish people get everything they want in life, and dont care who the hell they hurt in the process.

I wish I could have my best friend back. I wish things weren't so damn complicated. I wish SHE isn't who she is. I wish all feelings were respected. I wish selfishness didn't exist.

I dont know where to go from here. In my head, I think I made the right choice because I dont see how anything could have ever worked out, but now Im just this permantly pissed off girl who doesnt care about having anyone around her. Seriously, I am like shutting people out (over the last week or so)...and I have no idea why I'm doing it. Its like Im protecting myself from something, but I dont know what it is. One of the people I care about most in this world I just had to let go of...and it really sucks.

I seriously dont like anything about my life at this moment. I know this will pass, but right now, Im just pissed. Im pissed and sad.

Sorry this blog is so depressing, but its just how my life is right now.

2 comments:

Cee ♥ said...

Love you Neen! Please don't lose hope... things will get better, I promise.

Michelle Marie said...

Janine!! Just thinking about you...lets connect...I don't have your number anymore...